


biding my time, waiting on a lie

by lunarwaves



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Minor Violence, Practice Kissing, Rule 63, like someone gets slapped that's it and it's not between oikage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:55:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29650965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarwaves/pseuds/lunarwaves
Summary: Because Kageyama Tobio is terrible at kissing, and what kind of a senpai would Oikawa be if she didn’t help fix that?
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 24
Kudos: 105





	biding my time, waiting on a lie

**Author's Note:**

> based on [this](https://twitter.com/catkoushi/status/1339235416382132225?s=20) threadfic by twitter user @catkoushi. thank you for letting me write this!

Kageyama Tobio is coming to Seijoh.

A part of Oikawa is disappointed when she sees the other girl’s name on the volleyball team’s roster. She had been looking forward to beating her on the court, crushing Kageyama and ensuring her place as best setter once and for all.

Maybe not for all. _Definitely_ not for all. Kageyama was growing at an alarming rate, and while the whole ‘queen’ thing had been a setback, Oikawa was certain a day would come where Kageyama would simply _win_ , and this game of cat and mouse they’d been playing would draw to a close.

But a part of Oikawa is also relieved, that despite everything that happened at Kitagawa, Kageyama is still tenacious and following Oikawa. At least here she can keep a closer eye on the other girl’s progress.

When Kageyama Tobio introduces herself on the first day of volleyball practice, wearing a loose shirt and volleyball shorts like everyone else, it’s clear that a lot has changed.

Her bright-eyed enthusiasm and natural smile are gone, replaced by a permanent frown and glare.

She still has the same stupid pixie cut she had in middle school, bangs falling just over her eyes. She’s still the shortest between her, Kunimi, and Kindaichi, though she has shot up significantly since Oikawa first saw her in middle school. She still has a small chest, Oikawa notices with a small surge of victory, almost as flat as she was then.

Oikawa hasn’t seen Kageyama play just yet but eagerly awaits the opportunity to do so, just so she can scrounge for flaws and attach them in pieces to her own pride. But for now she simply introduces herself as the main setter and captain, all the while ignoring the way Kageyama’s eyes seem to burn holes right through her body.

\--

It’s very obvious to Oikawa that Kageyama has a crush on Iwaizumi, though she hides it rather well.

She barely shows her feelings at all, acting just as painfully awkward with Iwaizumi as she is around everyone else, before doing a complete 180 on the court, and becoming the volleyball monster everyone knows she is.

But Oikawa is nothing if not observant, keeping an eye on all her teammates in a way befitting a good setter and captain. So she notices the way Kageyama’s eyes linger on Iwaizumi’s thighs and biceps, how she stares at her a touch more reverently than anyone else.

And Oikawa was familiar with the symptoms of a crush on Iwaizumi, a victim of them herself, feelings never entirely squashed under the weight of her heterosexuality.

They had tried kissing once, over summer break in their first year. 

The fan in Oikawa’s bedroom whirred ceaselessly as they lay on her bed, Iwaizumi doing summer homework while Oikawa propped herself up on both elbows and filed her nails.

They had been silent for the past half hour, absorbed in their own menial tasks. So when Iwaizumi finally spoke, Oikawa startled a little, dropping her nail file on the sheets.

“Oi Shittykawa.”

“What?” Oikawa asked.

“You haven’t kissed anyone yet, right?”

Numb shock raced through her, a brief thought of _does she know? There’s no way she knows-_ flickering as Oikawa made a face to cover up her internal monologue. “Why Iwa-chan? You want to be my first?”

She had expected Iwaizumi to deny it, to call Oikawa delusional before smacking her with a textbook but instead she frowned, thick brows furrowing to a crease just above her nose. “I could be.”

“Ew!” Oikawa shrieked, bumping Iwaizumi with her shoulder even as her heart began to beat just a hair faster than before. “Why would you say something like that?”

“Stop being so dramatic!” Iwaizumi snapped, but without any malice. “I was just thinking we could be each other’s first, to get it over with. And I trust you.”

The admission was nice, soft words not often heard from a girl like Iwaizumi. But the fact that she just wanted to ‘get it over with’ was simply another nail in the coffin of Oikawa’s heart, a reminder that Iwaizumi would never like her in _that_ sense, that she would always be woefully straight.

“Wow, you trust me? Maybe you could extend my curfew, mom.” The comment earned Oikawa a kick to the calf and she yelped, more in displeasure than pain. “Ow! You know I’m joking! The kissing doesn’t sound too bad, actually. Even if it’s with you.”

If Oikawa had any sense of self-preservation, she would have said no. Iwaizumi would have understood and their day would have gone on without any indication of a change in their dynamic. But Oikawa couldn’t refuse her best friend anything, so she simply leaned in, placing a close-mouthed kiss on Iwaizumi’s lips.

She closed her eyes in the moment, felt the give of a soft mouth against her own but leaned back after a split second, eyes holding Iwaizumi’s impossibly green gaze.

There was a shining moment when Oikawa let herself hope that maybe Iwaizumi had felt something, that things had sparked and changed the entire course of their future. But Iwaizumi simply scrunched her nose and said, “it doesn’t feel right,” and Oikawa had to agree.

Nothing changed between them- they’d been friends for too long to let something as simple as a first kiss ruin everything they had. If anything, Oikawa and Iwaizumi are even closer now and Oikawa’s crush lost its tempo, fading from the main melody and receding into a background harmony.

Watching Kageyama quietly pine after Iwaizumi is oddly cathartic- for once she cannot get something Oikawa wanted, cannot surpass her in this one thing because of the simple fact that Iwaizumi is straight.

And even if Iwaizumi does like girls- there was no way she’d go for Kageyama, would she? 

Sometimes during practices Oikawa finds herself scrutinizing Kageyama’s flaws just as she told herself she would. They’re glaringly obvious once she actually looks, from the fact that Kageyama never shaves her legs (simple apathy- leg hair didn’t hinder her volleyball playing so she ignored it) to her decidedly uncute face.

She decides to break the news about Iwaizumi’s sexuality to Kageyama on a Friday evening. The rest of the girls are already starting to filter out, and all that’s left to do is take down the net and lock up the gym.

Iwaizumi has a date that night (with a boy on the basketball team no less) so she’s not there to give Oikawa shit for asking Kageyama to stay back.

“Tobio-chan, help me with the net, please,” she asks, just before Kageyama heads out the door.

Oikawa knows if this were anyone else, they would have tried to get out of it- it’s the day before a weekend, and no one wants to stay at school any longer than they have to. But Kageyama simply nods and drops her bag at the door, heading to the other end of the net.

“Do you usually walk home alone?” Oikawa asks in an attempt to break the silence and segue into her intended topic of conversation. This is the first time they’ve been alone together since the time she’d almost hit Kageyama, an unpleasant memory creating the tension between them and a twinge of guilt in Oikawa’s gut.

“Yes,” Kageyama replies.

“You could get kidnapped, you know,” Oikawa says, loosening the strings and finally pulling the net down. “It’s not safe to go without a friend.”

Kageyama simply shrugs, and Oikawa feels a twinge of annoyance at her unaffected demeanor. “I’m fine. Thank you for your concern, Oikawa-san.” It’s all stiff and formal with none of the emotion that occasionally slips out during a match or practice, so it makes Oikawa feel just a little mean-

“Iwaizumi-san is straight. She doesn’t like girls.”

So maybe she could have been nicer about it. But Kageyama is just so damn _annoying_ , and Oikawa wants to see something other than neutrality on her expression.

Instead, she simply frowns and nods. “Okay.”

_That’s it?_ Oikawa is filled with the sudden urge to provoke, to push and prod until Kageyama finally breaks. She steps closer, meeting Kageyama in the middle with the net. “Tobio-chan,” she begins, keeping her voice low as she briefly considers the consequences of her actions. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”

She knows what the answer will be before Kageyama says it. “No,” she replies, wide blue eyes flickering to Oikawa’s lips. The glance is brief but it’s enough, permission for Oikawa to slowly start closing the distance between them and give Kageyama time to run away if she desires. They’re both still holding the net, string pooling around their sneakers.

The first press of Oikawa’s mouth to Kageyama’s feels different. Kageyama’s lips aren’t soft like Iwaizumi’s, dry and chapped but equally inexperienced. Her eyes are closed and Oikawa feels her own fists unclench, net dropping to the floor as her hands hover over Kageyama’s cheeks, unable to decide whether she should hold her or not.

But between her first year and now, Oikawa has kissed other girls, so she knows enough to tilt her head and gently suck on Kageyama’s bottom lip before pulling away. Her hands remain in the air until she steps back, putting them at her side and reaching a familiar distance between them as Kageyama’s eyes flutter open.

“You suck at this,” Oikawa says, trying to keep her voice from shaking as the room suddenly becomes devoid of all oxygen. “You need to practice more.”

It’s an impulsive statement, something completely unlike her but all she knows is that she wants more. More of Kageyama’s mouth, more of her to devour and consume until there’s nothing left of either of them.

“Practice more… with you?” Kageyama’s frown is back in place now, though it seems to be one of confusion rather than resignation.

“Yeah. What kind of senpai would I be if I didn’t teach you the important things?”

“You didn’t teach me how to serve,” Kageyama mumbles, sharp blue eyes cutting away and down.

“Simple details.” The weight of Kitagawa seems to hang over both of them, heavy on Oikawa’s shoulders as she bends down to finally pick up the net. “After we fold this I’m walking you home. Don’t leave without me.”

While phrased as an order, it’s really a request. And anyway, Kageyama marches to the beat of her own drum; if she actually didn’t want to walk home with Oikawa, she wouldn’t. But she simply nods and helps put the net back.

Later, in the privacy of her own room, Oikawa will put two fingers to her lips, a feeble replication of how Kageyama’s mouth had felt against her own. The calluses on her fingertips are nothing to the taste of sweat and curiosity.

\--

They kiss for the second time on a Wednesday night, once again after practice.

With tongue this time, as Oikawa presses a hand to her back and leans down to get closer, pressing their bodies right up against each other.

Objectively, Oikawa knows Kageyama would be warm. Every human body has a temperature of around 37 degrees celsius, but it’s a completely different thing to be able to feel it, the heat radiating where their thighs barely touch.

“Stop tensing up,” Oikawa murmurs, pulling back from the kiss with a slick sound. “This isn’t a volleyball game.”

Kageyama glares at her, but Oikawa simply leans in again, coaxing her mouth open and tasting strawberry. She runs her tongue along Kageyama’s own and after a moment of hesitation, Kageyama repeats the motion right back.

Oikawa almost laughs. This is too close to reality, too similar to the way Kageyama picks up everything Oikawa does, despite her best attempts at prevention.

But Oikawa doesn’t pull faces at her this time, choosing to bite Kageyama’s lip instead, a bit harder than last time just to listen for her sharp intake of breath at the pain.

Kageyama gives as good as she gets, biting right back and Oikawa pulls her even closer, bringing her other hand up to thread it through choppy, silky black hair, almost navy under the streetlight.

She doesn’t know how long they stand there with telephone wires arching overhead, hidden from the road by the shadow of a tree, but when Oikawa pulls away, it’s to say the same thing as last time. 

“You’re still awful at kissing,” Oikawa says, trying to look nonchalant as she wipes at her spit-slick lips with a sweater sleeve. “Whoever you kiss next should be grateful I took the time to teach you how to do this.”

Except Oikawa doesn’t really want Kageyama to move on to kissing other people, at least not yet. It’s a revelation she doesn’t want to unpack just yet so she pushes it to the back of her mind until she forgets almost entirely.

\--

Kageyama Tobio fixes whatever rift she had with Kunimi and Kindaichi, and Oikawa has no clue when it happened.

Maybe fix isn’t the right word.

There’s a subtle tension between the three that doesn’t seem to go away entirely, even as Oikawa watches them make small talk and attempt to do drills together.

If anything, Kageyama is definitely less queen-like than she was in that disaster of a match in her third year at Kitagawa Daiichi. She actually _listens_ to her spikers now, and if this was anyone else, Oikawa might call herself proud.

But instead this is Kageyama Tobio, so all Oikawa hears is the ticking of a clock, a reminder of her shortening time as the starting setter.

For now, the coach has them in a 6-2 setter formation, saying it’ll confuse their opponents. It does in the practice matches they have, further preparation for Interhigh, but all Oikawa sees is Kageyama out of the corner of her eye, absorbing everything she does like a particularly persistent sponge.

There’s no questioning success though, and Oikawa knows having Kageyama on the court makes her better too. She is forced to be sharper and faster in a way that makes her feel the tiniest sliver of appreciation for her kouhai.

Appreciation and possessiveness when Kageyama tells Oikawa she no longer has to walk her home.

“You don’t have to worry about me getting kidnapped,” Kageyama says one day before practice, bangs falling into her eyes. “Kindaichi and Kunimi can walk with me.”

Oikawa wrinkles her nose. “Are you saying you don’t like walking together?”

Kageyama looks taken aback but also confused, brow furrowing in that trademark way of hers. “No? I thought you didn’t like walking with me.”

She goes cross eyed as Oikawa flicks her on the forehead. “Don’t assume things. Besides, how else will you practice? You’re still garbage at kissing.”

She still looks confused but nods anyway. “Okay? Thank you Oikawa-san?” Her voice rises in pitch at the end and Oikawa laughs, squishing her cheeks together with one hand.

“You’re not cute at all Tobio-chan,” she says, watching the way her lips pucker and resisting the urge to lean in and press a kiss to them.

She drops her hand when a volleyball comes sailing into the back of her head, almost making her bump foreheads with Kageyama.

“Sorry Kageyama!” Iwaizumi says, jogging over. “Shittykawa please stop harassing the first years and _do your job as captain. _”__

__“Sorry mom,” Oikawa snarks, shaking her hand to get rid of the warmth tingling at her fingertips. “Don’t hit me again!” she shrieks, flinging her arms up when Iwaizumi goes to throw the ball once more. “Jeez, I’m sorry!”_ _

__\--_ _

__They end up kissing a third, fourth, fifth time, after which Oikawa stops counting._ _

__She knows she’s running out of excuses to keep doing this. She tells Kageyama her kisses are awful, that they still need work even though she’s as quick a learner in this as she is in volleyball._ _

__But Oikawa would rather transfer to Shiratorizawa than admit she actually _likes_ kissing Kageyama. There’s an appeal to seeing someone so composed and emotionless fall apart under Oikawa’s touch, and she catalogues every inhale, every gasp, even that one time Kageyama had whined, the soft, high sound burned permanently into Oikawa’s memory._ _

__And Kageyama continues to take it, doesn’t tell Oikawa to stop despite the fact that she probably knows they no longer need to practice. She simply tilts her head up, going up on tiptoes to chase Oikawa’s mouth when she’s feeling particularly petulant._ _

__It’s no longer Oikawa initiating all the time either, a fact she doesn’t entirely know how to process._ _

__While their teammates definitely don’t know about the whole kissing thing, they do notice how Oikawa seems to have stopped heckling Kageyama at every given opportunity and walks her home after practice, still not an entirely healthy senpai-kouhai dynamic, but definitely with less animosity than before._ _

__“It’s nice to see you taking care of Kageyama,” Iwaizumi remarks one day at lunch, as they sit outside with bentos in hand._ _

__“What,” Oikawa replies stupidly. She can see Hanamaki and Matsukawa tightly pressing their lips together to hold back smiles caused only by her suffering. She hates them so much._ _

__“Well you walk her home after practice at least. It might not be volleyball but it’s a start.”_ _

__“A start? A start to what?” Her voice starts to rise in pitch and Matsukawa snorts into her food, bringing the box up to cover her face._ _

__Iwaizumi frowns. “Uh… friendship? I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with you two to be honest.”_ _

__Oikawa points her chopsticks threateningly at Iwaizumi, ignoring her eye roll. “Me and Tobio,” she proclaims dramatically, “are not friends!”_ _

__“I didn’t _say_ you were,” Iwaizumi explains, with all the patience of a saint. “I said you were becoming friends. Maybe.” _ _

__“I would never be friends with her!” Oikawa shrieks and Hanamaki and Matsukawa aren’t even bothering to hide their snickers now. “She’s a brat!”_ _

__“Right,” Iwaizumi drawls, disregarding everything Oikawa just said. “Well, I’m still glad you stopped pretending not to care about Kageyama.”_ _

__And she goes on eating her bento, picking up rice with her chopsticks as though Oikawa isn’t angrily sputtering at her, as though her head didn’t just explode._ _

__That day after walking Kageyama home, she doesn’t immediately start heading to her own house._ _

__“Well?” Oikawa asks, raising an eyebrow when Kageyama opens the front door. “Aren’t you going to let me in?”_ _

__Kageyama’s nose scrunches. “Why?”_ _

__“So I can keep kissing you senseless,” Oikawa says blithely, pretending to ignore Kageyama’s sharp inhale. “Let me in,” she repeats._ _

__They end up on Kageyama’s couch with Kageyama on top, cold fingers skimming above the waistband of Oikawa’s sweats, the ones she had put on after practice on the pretense that her legs were cold._ _

__She thinks, dares to hope that Kageyama will suddenly decide to go further, but they continue to lay there lazily making out, Kageyama’s kisses noticeably less sloppy than when she first started._ _

__“Hey.” Oikawa pushes at Kageyama’s shoulder to get their faces more than a nose-length apart. “Can I give you a hickey?”_ _

__Kageyama’s eyes go wide and a surge of smug triumph races through Oikawa at the sight of her dilated pupils, thinly rimmed with dark blue. “A hick-? Yes? Not where people can see though.” She glares at Oikawa, a blush staining her cheeks._ _

___She looks different here than under the streetlamp,_ Oikawa notices, sliding her hands up to undo Kageyama’s tie and the top few buttons of her shirt. Every part of Kageyama seemed sharper, brighter in the sitting room light, and if Oikawa’s hands tremble just a little, there’s no one to witness it but them._ _

__“Roll over,” Oikawa rasps out and Kageyama obliges, shifting with her until Oikawa’s on top, straddling the other girl. She can feel the slow rise and fall of Kageyama’s stomach as she breathes, and her stomach explodes into butterflies when she sees the thick strap of Kageyama’s sports bra._ _

___Get a grip, Tooru_ she scolds herself, moving the strap aside and placing her mouth dangerously close to Kageyama’s left breast. It’s in a place that’ll be covered even when she’s changing in the locker room, but here Oikawa can also feel her heartbeat, jackrabbiting through her teeth as she sucks a bruise into soft skin._ _

__Kageyama gasps and sharply bucks up her hips, so Oikawa digs her knees into her sides as retaliation before sitting back to admire her handiwork. The bruise is small, easily hidden under the neckline of Kageyama’s bra. It’s strangely intimate, and Oikawa feels a lump rise in her throat as she runs a thumb over the now covered spot._ _

__Kageyama kicks at her with a socked foot, snapping her out of her trance. “Hey, are you done? My legs are getting tired.”_ _

__Sticking out her tongue, Oikawa sits back and puts her whole body weight on Kageyama’s legs, crossing her arms. “You’re still as uselessly adorable as ever Tobio-chan.”_ _

__Kageyama finally props herself up, leaning on both elbows. Her hair is disheveled from where she’d been laying on the couch, and Oikawa can only imagine the similar state she’s in. Unwittingly, her eyes drift back to where she’d left the hickey. It’s covered by fabric now but Oikawa is hit with a sudden pang of _want_ , to leave marks where others can see._ _

__But she’s here to teach Kageyama, not get killed by Iwaizumi. So she gets off Kageyama and runs a hand through her hair, trying to flatten it as she picks up her phone to text her parents._ _

__“I’ll be heading home now. Don’t forget to sleep or eat dinner or whatever.”_ _

__“Fine. I’ll see you at practice tomorrow.”_ _

__\--_ _

__When Oikawa gets home after their match with Shiratorizawa, she immediately collapses into bed._ _

__The loss had stung more than usual, a reminder this was her last Interhigh and that she had to wait another few years to beat Ushijima._ _

__Argentina slowly starts to take a more corporeal form, a reminder of what Oikawa has to do if she wants to be ‘good enough’._ _

__She ignores the voice in her head that tells her she’d thought she was good enough now._ _

__The weight of her failure is crushing, and for a moment she regrets every decision she’s made to get here, before remembering that she is _Oikawa fucking Tooru_ and eventually she will achieve everything she’s ever wanted._ _

__Eventually. Just not now._ _

__Oikawa sighs, flopping onto her stomach just as she hears a knock on her door. “Tooru,” her mother says. “A friend is here to see you.”_ _

__She frowns into her pillow. Iwaizumi had talked to her right before they headed home- there was no way she’d be visiting now. So who was here?_ _

__Her question is answered when her bedroom door creaks open and she turns to see Kageyama Tobio covering her eyes._ _

__“Please don’t tell me you’re naked, Oikawa-san,” she says and Oikawa frowns down at the sweatpants and Aoba Johsai shirt she’s wearing._ _

__“You wish I was,” she replies, finally sitting up. “What do you want, brat?”_ _

__Kageyama hesitates, uncovering her eyes and finally stepping into the bedroom. “Um. To talk,” she finally says._ _

__Oikawa scowls. “Did Iwa-chan put you up to this?”_ _

__“She only gave me your address because I asked for it.”_ _

__Sighing, Oikawa shifts and pats the space on the bed next to her. Kageyama obliges, sitting but careful to maintain a distance between them._ _

__“Are you… okay?” she asks Oikawa._ _

__She sighs in response, all the exhaustion of today suddenly weighing on her. “What do you think, Tobio-chan? I guess even you weren’t enough to beat Shiratorizawa.”_ _

__Kageyama frowns and bites her lip, thinking. “What do you mean?”_ _

__“At first I didn’t think it would take a genius to beat a genius,” Oikawa says, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. “And then after the fall Interhigh I thought it would be the reverse. But that’s not the case, is it? We still lost and I’ll have to wait even more.”_ _

__“That doesn’t mean you’re a bad player though,” Kageyama bursts out. “You’re the best setter I’ve ever seen.”_ _

__The words are reverential, making Oikawa’s heart warm, so she scooches closer, wrapping an arm around Kageyama’s waist to pull her in until her head rests on Oikawa’s shoulder._ _

__“Damn right I am,” she says. “But I don’t know why you say things like that. I’m-”_ _

___-nothing compared to you. An 18 year old disaster in the making. One day you’re going to be better than me, and the thought of it makes me want to pop a bottle of champagne and puke at the same time._ _ _

__“Nevermind,” Oikawa finishes. “The point is that yes, I am better than you.”_ _

__Kageyama huffs indignantly into the collar of her t-shirt and she continues talking. “But even though I wasn’t able to defeat Ushiwaka, you have to. I have full faith that you will, even without me.”_ _

__It’s entirely too honest, and Kageyama seems to realize that. She replies to Oikawa with all the solemnity she can muster, saying, “I will,” in a tone that sounds more like she’s promising to come back from a battlefield than win a high school volleyball game._ _

__“Brat,” Oikawa says, kissing her forehead impulsively. The gesture makes Kageyama go rigid, the soft affection unusual for both of them. Yet she can’t help but believe they both deserve it, unspoken promises lingering between them. “You want to go ahead and stay for dinner? My mom will get mad at me if you don’t.”_ _

__\--_ _

__Once a week, their team doesn’t have volleyball practice._ _

__That morning before school, Oikawa looks at her hair in the mirror, pinches it between her index and middle finger before critically eyeing the length. It’s almost to her shoulders, which also means it’s almost time to cut it._ _

__She sighs, momentarily mourning the (unfair) tradeoff between hair and high school volleyball before opening a drawer and pulling out the curling iron._ _

__No practice meant her hair would stay intact even after school, so she takes the time to separate her hair into sections, meticulously curling each._ _

__While the gods may not have blessed her with prodigious volleyball skills, they did give her hair that could hold a curl, which may be a small victory, but a victory nonetheless._ _

__Obviously people notice- she doesn’t do this everyday. But Oikawa’s favorite reaction has to be Kageyama’s._ _

__They’re on Kageyama’s couch once again, the other girl on top of Oikawa, simply laying there as Oikawa rubs circles into her lower back._ _

__Oikawa calls it cuddle practice. Something had changed between them since their last Interhigh together and she doesn’t mention how holding Kageyama close has become a source of comfort now, that the casual affection they’ve started showing makes her stomach flip._ _

__They’re not doing anything now, simply existing even as Oikawa’s leg starts to go numb. She’s about to ask Kageyama to flip over when she suddenly lifts her head, staring intently at Oikawa as she pulls on a curl, watching it spring back to its original shape._ _

__Holding her breath, Oikawa watches her do this a few more time before finally speaking. “Did your brain finally stop working, Tobio-chan?”_ _

__Kageyama shakes her head, continuing to tug at Oikawa’s hair. “It’s never been bouncy before.”_ _

__“Oh my god, you idiot.” Oikawa gently smacks her hand away and turns her head to hide the sudden blush on her cheeks. “I just curled it. Why are you so weird?”_ _

__“It’s not on purpose,” Kageyama grumbles, and _oh no when did Oikawa start finding everything she did endearing?_ “I was just surprised. I’ve never seen you with wavy hair.”_ _

__“Whatever,” Oikawa spits out before managing to shuffle them over so she’s on top this time, leaning in to kiss Kageyama again and maybe leave more hickeys. “I’m going to bite you extra for that.”_ _

__\--_ _

__“Tobio-chan, what’s that?”_ _

__Kageyama frowns at the clear plastic bag in her hands, holding it up to the light in an effort to see what’s inside. “Chocolate,” she responds. “But I’m not sure what kind.”_ _

__“Why do you have chocolate?” Oikawa asks, trying to keep her voice level and deliberately stopping herself from jumping to the conclusion that Kageyama suddenly had a significant other. They wouldn’t be walking home together if she did, would they?_ _

__“A girl in my class confessed to me.”_ _

__Oikawa’s been confessed to many times. She knows she’s pretty, tall, and sociable, and most people would leap at the chance to date her. It doesn’t make sense that someone would confess to Kageyama, even though she’s also tall and has eyes that contain the whole universe. The fact makes Oikawa taste bitterness at the back of her mouth._ _

__“Did you accept?” she replies smoothly, continuing to walk._ _

__“No. You said it yourself- I’m still awful at kissing. I don’t think I’d want to be in a relationship if I wasn’t ready for that.”_ _

__Ah. “That’s all?” Oikawa asks. Kageyama doesn’t entirely sound like she believes what she’s saying and the look she gives Oikawa is unreadable._ _

__“And I don’t like her.”_ _

__“Aww, does Tobio-chan have a crush on someone else?”_ _

__Kageyama goes dead silent for a moment and Oikawa’s heart rises straight into her throat, teetering on the edge of a knife as she waits for her answer._ _

__She doesn’t know what she wants Kageyama to say. But when she finally says, “no,” Oikawa feels both relief and disappointment._ _

__“Good,” she says, ruffling Kageyama’s hair and speeding up her pace so she doesn’t have to see her expression, the path to Kageyama’s house practically ingrained into her legs._ _

__When they get inside, Oikawa makes a beeline for where she knows Kageyama’s room is, dropping her bag near the couch she spends most of her evenings on._ _

__“We’re doing this on the futon?”_ _

__She can hear the confusion in Kageyama’s voice but she simply throws herself backwards onto the mattress, stretching her arms out. “Come here,” Oikawa says in lieu of an actual response to her questions._ _

__As usual, Kageyama obliges. They fall into each other again, a repeat of almost every time they’ve been together, Oikawa taking a running leap and Kageyama following. She wonders when Kageyama started tasting familiar, when she figured out that Kageyama liked being kissed breathless and marked but also soft nips on her lips and earlobe._ _

__Kageyama breaks away to lick swirls down Oikawa’s neck, and she’s not entirely sure what kind of noise she makes in response, but she takes the opportunity to slide a hand up Kageyama’s skirt, lightly squeezing the muscle on her outer thigh._ _

__It’s not like they haven’t touched intimately before- Kageyama had shoved her icy fingertips up Oikawa’s shirt just a few weeks ago, and she was familiar with the deceptive softness of Kageyama’s stomach._ _

__But it had never been like this, never had Kageyama’s breath hitching as Oikawa touches the already damp spot on her panties, never had Oikawa asking, “okay?” before Kageyama breathes out a, “yeah,” as she slips her fingers up and over the elastic, running them through coarse curls before finally, _finally_ touching where they both wanted._ _

__Kageyama’s cunt is hot and slippery, wet around the two fingers Oikawa puts in. She moves slowly at first, slick sounds interspersing Kageyama’s breathy moans as she pants into Oikawa’s mouth._ _

__“Good?” Oikawa asks breathlessly, pulling away from the kiss to stare up at Kageyama, taking in her wild eyes and swollen lips._ _

__“Yes,” she hisses out, “keep going please, please-!”_ _

___Found it,_ Oikawa thinks with a swell of affection as she gently presses into her g-spot, the patch of skin slightly bumpy against her fingertips._ _

__“It’s never felt- never been like- oh my god-” Kageyama cries, before burying her teeth into the juncture of Oikawa’s jaw and neck._ _

__She’s biting hard enough to leave a mark where everyone can see, but Oikawa finds she doesn’t care, driving her palm up against Kageyama’s clit and adding a finger._ _

__Somehow they end up switching positions once again, Kageyama writhing on the bed like an ant caught below a magnifying glass, unaware it’s burning under the glare of the sun. She continues to buck up, whispering curses and pleas as Oikawa sucks a bruise into her neck as well, one that’ll be visible above the collar of their school uniform._ _

__It’s the least composed Oikawa’s ever seen Kageyama, completely disheveled and being brought to orgasm by her own fingers. The utter trust and loss of control should be a power trip, another win in the mental tally Oikawa has against Kageyama, but the stupid kissing practice has stripped Oikawa of any defenses she had surrounding her idiot kouhai._ _

__When Kageyama finally comes, squeezing Oikawa’s fingers like a vice, all she feels is fondness and exhaustion._ _

__Oikawa slips her fingers out with an obscene squelching sound, and licks at them while holding Kageyama’s gaze, sees the way her pink lips part as she wrinkles her nose at the flavor. “Salty,” she says as a way of explanation, although she most definitely wouldn’t mind eating Kageyama out someday._ _

__Someday. She knows graduation is looming ahead, that eventually she’ll have to let Kageyama go but for now Oikawa can hold onto the fact that there’s no one for them but each other._ _

__“Do you need me to…?” Kageyama mumbles, cheek squished into the pillow as she reaches for Oikawa._ _

__“Nah. I’m fine,” Oikawa says, awkwardly wiping her hand off on her skirt. “Are you alright?”_ _

__“‘M fine.” She smiles softly, the sight making Oikawa’s stomach swoop. “That was good.”_ _

__“Yeah?” Oikawa finds herself smiling right back, feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable. “I’m glad. We should practice that too.”_ _

__Kageyama suddenly stiffens, her gaze dropping so Oikawa can only see the fan of her lashes. “Right.”_ _

__“Tobio-chan?”_ _

__She’s quiet for a moment as she sits up, smoothing the sheets where they’re rumpled, long fingers meticulously flattening every crease. “Oikawa-san,” Kageyama says finally. “I think I like you. More than just for, uh, kissing practice.”_ _

__Oikawa feels herself tense in the sudden tightening of her shoulders and the way her fingers curl in on themselves. “Of course you do.” Her words come out sharp, with none of the nonchalance she was going for as Kageyama visibly flinches. “I don’t think I can give you the answer you want. I’m sorry, Tobio-chan.”_ _

__Even as she says it, Oikawa knows she’s lying. It’s not that she doesn’t like Kageyama. She doesn’t know how to classify what she feels, a delicate, raw thing so much more complicated than simple resentment. And the more she thinks about what they are, the more she devolves into a complicated mess of emotions, so the easiest thing to do is lie. Pretend like this hasn’t affected her and treat Kageyama as just another failed confession._ _

__Once again, Kageyama’s disarming honesty rears its ugly head, leading to her downfall._ _

__“That’s fine.” Kageyama’s still not looking at her, knees drawn up to her chest as she tugs at the sheets, watching them come off the bed. “I just wanted to tell you.”_ _

__And it isn’t the confession that makes Oikawa feel a sharp ache in her chest- it’s the way Kageyama doesn’t even seem surprised, as if she’d known Oikawa would react this way and still made the choice to tell her._ _

__It hurts, and Oikawa feels irrationally frustrated. “I’ll see you at volleyball practice tomorrow,” she says coldly, before leaving the house and trying to forget how Kageyama’s warm weight felt on top of her._ _

__\--_ _

__“Trashykawa! What’s wrong with you?!” Iwaizumi slams her bento down on Oikawa’s desk, effectively causing her to jump back in her seat. “I’ve called your name about five times!”_ _

__“I fucked up Iwa-chan,” Oikawa mumbles, pushing palms up her cheeks so they squish out. “I fucked up so bad.”_ _

__“Yeah, I figured from the twenty texts you sent me last night.” She hops onto Oikawa’s desk, a note of concern entering her otherwise harsh tone. “Is everything okay?”_ _

__Oikawa faceplants into the wood, turning her head so she’s looking out the window. A lone crow flies by and for one hysterical moment, she wishes she was that bird. Birds probably didn’t have to worry about rivalries, kissing practice, and the difference between intent and delivery- they could just focus on eating worms and not dying. “Obviously not.”_ _

__“Are you going to talk about it or keep making me guess?” Oikawa feels a poke to the side of her head, and she finally sits up. Most of the classroom has emptied out for their lunch break, and on a normal day she knows she would be outside too, shooting the shit with her friends._ _

__But there’s a reason she stayed up here, overthinking and waiting. “Promise you won’t tell anyone?” she whispers._ _

__“Of course,” Iwaizumi replies without any hesitation and despite herself, Oikawa feels a small sense of relief. It eases her growing anxiety by the tiniest amount and she relaxes enough to say-_ _

__“I had sex with Tobio.”_ _

__She sees Iwaizumi physically stiffen. “You what?”_ _

__There’s no way Iwaizumi didn’t hear what she said. “I, um… hadsexwithTobio.”_ _

__In hindsight, she should have seen the slap coming. Oikawa feels rather than sees the impact on her cheek, face smarting as she falls out of her chair in surprise. “Iwa-chan, what-” she starts but Iwaizumi follows her down, grabbing her by the collar._ _

__“You fucked Kageyama?! Volleyball Kageyama? What’s _wrong_ with you? You fucking _bitch_!” Iwaizumi’s tan skin has gone red in rage as she hisses at Oikawa, continuing to shake her like a toddler with a rag doll. “She’s 16! She looks up to you! Is this even legal? What’s wrong with you?!” she repeats, hitting Oikawa again._ _

__None of the people left in the classroom intervene, though above the heartbeat pounding loudly in her ears, Oikawa distantly hears a student shout for a teacher._ _

__“Do you ever think before you act?!” Iwaizumi continues. “You’d have to be stupid to not notice the way Kageyama looks at you, and you decided to take advantage of that, you sick _fuck_ -”_ _

__“I know she likes me!” Oikawa cries out against the lump in her throat. “I never meant for it to turn out this way! When I asked her if she wanted to practice kissing-”_ _

__“You what?!” Iwaizumi shrieks, voice rising noticeably in pitch. “How long have you been doing this?! On what planet would you think this a good idea?! I thought you were smart!”_ _

__“I am!” Oikawa shouts back, fully crying now, probably for the first time since last night, all her feelings rushing out of her in a burst of tears. “But when have I ever been smart around stupid Tobio? You were there when I almost hit her! I’ve caused her nothing but _pain._ ” Embarrassingly enough, her voice cracks on the last word, though that’s nothing compared to the mess of snot and tears on her face._ _

__“Damn right you have,” Iwaizumi all but snarls. “I thought things were getting better between you two, you stupid, stupid-”_ _

__Suddenly, two sets of arms are pulling them away from each other. Iwaizumi grabs for Oikawa, not done chewing her out just yet but Oikawa simply goes limp, letting herself get dragged even as she continues to cry, filled with self-pity and revulsion._ _

__She already knows what the gossip will sound like- Oikawa Tooru, it-girl and volleyball team captain reduced to tears after getting the shit beat out of her in a near empty classroom by her best friend. The details will change as people talk. Some will say they were fighting over a boy (even though Oikawa’s an out lesbian) and others will argue that no, it was because Iwaizumi had finally come clean about quitting volleyball (but Oikawa had known this since before high school even started). But the two of them get to hear none of it, shut into the principal’s office instead._ _

__Iwaizumi didn’t really injure her, not really. She had slapped her twice, once across each cheek like in a movie. Oikawa feels numb and worn out, slouched into a chair as they wait for the principal to come in and talk to them._ _

__“I’m sorry I hit you,” Iwaizumi eventually says._ _

__“No you’re not,” Oikawa mumbles, staring blankly at a potted plant._ _

__Iwaizumi gives a short laugh. “Yeah, you’re right. We both know you had it coming.” A beat of silence. “Will you tell me the full story after this? I promise I won’t beat you up.”_ _

__“I want to beat myself up,” Oikawa says, just as the principal finally enters the office._ _

__Their reputation as good students and volleyball players lets them off with no more than a warning and promise to never do that again. Though they have to skip part of practice to do classroom cleanup duty, Oikawa figures it could be worse._ _

__So between clapping erasers and stacking chairs, Oikawa tells Iwaizumi. There are moments she sees her jaw tense, sees her fingers clench around a desk, sees her about to speak but she never does, letting Oikawa meander through the story until her voice starts to go hoarse, dried by her words and the chalk dust._ _

__“I honestly don’t know what to say,” Iwaizumi says when she finally finishes. “Like, congratulations? I don’t understand how you fucked your relationship with Kageyama up even more.”_ _

__“Thanks,” Oikawa responds, deadpan. They’re almost done cleaning- it’ll be too soon for when they finally have to go to practice. Usually she would be eager to finish quickly and go but Oikawa balks at the thought of seeing Kageyama again._ _

__“Is that why you have a hickey on your neck?”_ _

__Reflexively clapping a hand up over the spot, Oikawa sighs. “I thought I put enough makeup on it.”_ _

__“It’s not that obvious, I guess.” Iwaizumi stacks a final chair and dusts off her hands. “So?”_ _

__Oikawa looks at her blankly. “So what?”_ _

__“Do you like Kageyama?”_ _

__That brings Oikawa up short. “I don’t know,” she admits. “I think a part of me does. But I’ve spent so long hating her and wishing she would just disappear that I don’t really know what to do with these-,” she wrinkles her nose, “-feelings. Like I think Tobio sees me as more than just a senpai, but I can’t help but wonder if she really doesn’t. And what if I hurt Tobio again? At one point that was all I wanted to do but now… I just want to hold her stupid hand.”_ _

__“Gross,” Iwaizumi replies reflexively. “But kind of sweet. Do you want advice?”_ _

__“Yes please,” Oikawa says._ _

__“Stay 500 kilometers away from her until you figure your shit out. I’d be surprised if she still likes you after the stunt you just pulled.”_ _

__“Iwa-chan! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Oikawa whines._ _

__“I am on your side,” she responds, taking one last look at the cleaned up classroom. “But you’re also a raging asshole. Have you considered apologizing?”_ _

__Oikawa lets out a squawk. “Why would I do that?!”_ _

__Iwaizumi looks as if she wants nothing more for the ground to open up and swallow Oikawa, if simply to end this conversation, but instead she shrugs. “Like I said, figure your shit out. But whatever you do, do not hurt Kageyama again. She doesn’t deserve to be collateral to your internal conflict.”_ _

__It’s only afterwards, when Oikawa is satisfactorily tired and her thoughts are quiet from the strenuous practice that she realizes she hadn’t mentioned either her or Kageyama’s previous crushes on Iwaizumi._ _

__It feels symbolic in a way, a sign that Oikawa has actually moved on and should do _something_ , but she’s emotionally exhausted and groggy. If she thinks about Kageyama anymore today, her head will explode into a billion pieces, and if Oikawa’s blown up there’s going to be no chance at reconciliation._ _

__So she tells herself she’ll think about it all later, sort her feelings and possibly confess before sitting down to finish the last of her schoolwork._ _

__\--_ _

__If there’s anything Kageyama has learned, it’s professionalism. She doesn’t toss to Oikawa any more or less than usual, playing as though nothing had happened._ _

__The only difference is that her eyes seem to trail after Oikawa less, always falling to a point beside or behind her._ _

__Oikawa never thought she’d miss the feeling of Kageyama trailing after her, but even for a few hours, the absence was enough to make her uncomfortable._ _

__“I’m going home with Kindaichi and Kunimi today,” Kageyama tells her after practice, breaking the streak of ignoring her. “You don’t need to wait for me.”_ _

__Oikawa sticks her tongue out, an effort to hide the way her stomach dropped and heart ached. “Wasn’t planning on it.”_ _

__“You suck,” Iwaizumi says after watching the whole interaction. “What happened to your people skills or whatever?”_ _

__“Tobio isn’t a normal person,” Oikawa ponders. “She’s a nut.” At Iwaizumi’s questioning look she elaborates. “Difficult to crack.”_ _

__That gets her a light punch to the bicep but also a release of the small fear she had of losing all the normalcy in her life. She walks home with Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa for the first time in ages and the steps she takes to get home feel unfamiliar._ _

__“Are you okay?” Hanamaki asks on their way. “You’re quieter than usual.”_ _

__“I’m just thinking,” Oikawa says._ _

__And she is. Sometime over the course of the school year all her thoughts had become KageyamaKageyamaKageyama. As she left her friends at their houses, Oikawa also planned a thousand scenarios and watched them fail._ _

__“I think I’m going to confess,” she tells Iwaizumi when the two of them are alone. “Even though I’m leaving and Tobio’s kind of a worm.”_ _

__Iwaizumi sighs wearily. “For your sake, I hope it works out.”_ _

__\--_ _

__Oikawa knew she wanted her confession to Kageyama to be memorable._ _

__It wouldn’t do for Kageyama to forget about her as she kept working to become better, even from a different hemisphere. It also wouldn’t do for Kageyama to meet some other hot volleyball player, enter a loving relationship with her and live happily ever after._ _

__Well, Kageyama’s happiness didn’t sound too bad if Oikawa managed not to think about it for too long- it just looked better if Oikawa was included in it._ _

__So when she goes to buy her own lip balm because somehow, no matter how careful she is, the tube always seems to disappear, Oikawa buys two instead of one._ _

__For Kageyama she gets _Nivea_ , thinking the simple nature of it would appeal to someone as typically straightforward as her._ _

__Oikawa rips open the packaging, tucking the tube in the inside pocket of her bag alongside her wallet, the space she had mentally designated for ‘important things’. It remains inside like a secret waiting to get out and she repeatedly pats at it as if to make sure the lip balm’s still there._ _

__Before practice but after they get changed, she taps Kageyama on the shoulder. “Walk home with me today.”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__Oikawa reels. “What?”_ _

__“No offense, Oikawa-san but I don’t really want to… pick up where we left off.” Kageyama bites at chapped lips in a nervous gesture and once again, Oikawa is reminded of why she’s choosing to confess _like this_._ _

__“I promise that’s not my intention,” she says in response. “Just this evening. Please?”_ _

__At the sharp intake of breath she hears from Kageyama, Oikawa realizes just how rare it is for her to be begging, in the most liberal sense of the word. Maybe the last time had been when she’d asked Kageyama to stay back for the first time, initiating the kiss that snowballed into whatever this was. Maybe it had been between soft brushes of lips against each other, or in the recesses of Oikawa’s thoughts as she went back home each day._ _

__But Oikawa knows Kageyama is just as soft around Oikawa as she is around her so she knows she’ll say yes before she actually does, nodding with a frown still in place._ _

__“Fine. Just this evening. Have a good practice Oikawa-san.” And then she turns away, to go do passing drills or figure out that pinpoint toss she’d been working on and not for the first time, Oikawa is struck by how far she’s come._ _

__True to her word, Kageyama waits after practice, an unusual reversal of their roles._ _

__Once again they are the last to leave, Oikawa locking up before they set off on their way home._ _

__For a good half of the walk they are silent, listening to the crickets and the fall of their shoes against the pavement._ _

__Until Oikawa finally stops them, pulling out the chapstick in her bag with a flourish._ _

__“This,” she says, “is for you.”_ _

__“Um,” Kageyama says eloquently, staring at it with crossed eyes, the tube hovering a few inches from her nose._ _

__Oikawa takes a deep breath. “You need chapstick. No one’s going to want to kiss you if your lips are gross all the time.”_ _

__Kageyama shoots her a look but doesn’t mention the fact that Oikawa had been kissing her for months, chapped lips and all. “Thank you for the advice Oikawa-san.”_ _

__“But I think I’d like to be the only one who kisses you. Even though I’m leaving. I told you I’m leaving right?” she rambles, trying to lose the vague semblance of her confession in a stream of words._ _

__Kageyama looks confused but still nods. It’s not like she’d been subtle about her plans anyway. And then-_ _

__“Wait, you want to be the only one to kiss me?”_ _

__“Uh,” Oikawa says, heart suddenly on her tongue, making it impossible to speak. “Yes. If you would like that. Even though we’re going to be far away from each other and I’ll probably only visit once or twice a year.” She’s still holding the chapstick in front of her, and picks up one of Kageyama’s hands to wrap her fingers around it. “When I come back I expect you to be using this. But I’ll probably kiss you even if you don’t.”_ _

__“This is a terrible confession,” Kageyama says bluntly, but she isn’t running away so Oikawa sees this as a win in her book._ _

__“Well it’s still a confession isn’t it? I know it’s late and I hurt you but… I like you. And I’d like to date you for real.”_ _

__Kageyama seems taken aback but keeps her hand in Oikawa’s, fingers finally curling around the slender tube. “Me? But why?”_ _

__This is probably the most insecure Oikawa’s ever seen her, vulnerability reflecting softly in dark blue eyes, even more so than when this all started in a near-empty volleyball gym._ _

__“Please don’t make me say it,” she complains. “I’ll die.” _Maybe later,_ she doesn’t say because Kageyama may not be a people person, but she does know Oikawa in a way different from everyone else, and the words left unsaid promise a whole future together._ _

__“Fine then.” Kageyama’s lips curl into a soft smile. “We can be girlfriends.”_ _

__Oikawa yelps. “Girlfriends?! Who said anything about girlfriends?!” But she still steps into Kageyama, wrapping an arm around her waist and propping her chin atop raven hair. “I’m teasing. I’ll be your girlfriend Tobio-chan,” she murmurs. “I better see you on the world stage okay? So we can finally play a match against each other.”_ _

__“Who’s to say we won’t be together again?” Kageyama responds._ _

__She pictures herself in a red jersey, then blue, before thinking that no matter what color she wears, she’ll be happy as long as Kageyama is still by her side._ _

**Author's Note:**

> i could've just called this 'kissing practice: the fic' and it still would've made sense
> 
> shoutouts to [alex](https://twitter.com/skyscapes_), [chem](https://twitter.com/chemicalflashes), and [tim](https://twitter.com/boludokawa) for looking this over- thank you all so much!  
> super special mention for [wendy](https://twitter.com/wendysheep) because she listened to me cry about this in her dms
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/kitasimpshuke)|[tumblr](https://avatar-the-last-jerkbender.tumblr.com/)


End file.
